Am I here or am I disappearing?

The world is so cruel. And the worst thing is that people make it up to be *politically correct* to be cruel. Creating all the statistics, who is what, what that means, they're not that which they see themselves as. We know. We, the right social norms.
I spend a long time in my head, I've done it all my life. I like it. I like my self-awareness and taking the time to broaden it.But all the statistics and the numbers, the *science* behind us, behind who we are. We're told we need to grow out of who we are. And we start to believe we need to disown ourselves. Whether you're 16 or 25 or 35, you know this all too well. We are not what we should be until we are what they say we need to be because our mind, while so diverse can not manifest in our look. I don't want my father telling me *I will turn out to be okay* one day because I dress and carry myself a certain way. I am a soul. I am art. I am an one and only. To myself I am the only one who needs to agree. I shall not disown the home I've built within myself to become worthy of your world. My world is no one else's to roam. I will not hide or keep my statement buried.

4:32 am//to everyone who never came back from the forest

We were driving down the road to the land which we wanted as our home

but after a while our car broke down in the dirt road

and you went away to search for a soul to help.

I sat and waited in the backseat

and waited some more.

I cried myself to sleep on your leather seats

hoping the light of day would bring you back.

The lights were still out upon waking.

The cold steel blade of the icy air cut open the stitches

which all of you sewed across my skin.

I laid there, numb and cold.

My fingers blue, my eyes red.

The hours became days and the days became hours

and they went back and forth in my mind.

I got out, only to discover the eyes of the beasts laid on me.

Gazing right at the open wounds, the dripping blood.

And so I ran and ran into the shadows of the tall trees.

My body crumbles if I take another step

but I need to go, to go home. Our home. My home. Your home.

Nobodies' home.

It smelled like salt. Like rain, Like the breeze of the ocean.

I saw a dark figure before my breathless body collapsed on the ground.

My final thought being "This is where it shall all end, where I end, where our dream dies"

Again, waking up, with the hope of all this being the nightmare from my childhood.

I saw the water and the sand. The rocks and waves crashing into them.

All my blurry vision caught was the water turned red and the beast licking my wounds.

"Is this the silence before the storm?"

I stood up and the second must have split into two when I fell to my knees before the never ending water, and the bodies of our childhood villains who never got the happily ever after.

"I belong here"- I mumble as I look into the creatures eyes.

"Are you going to kill me now?"

"You already killed yourself my dear"

I stood up for the last time, walked into the crystal water and dived down, my lungs filling with water

To everyone back home, who told me not to go.

Do not weep and do not cry.

The waves shall bring my body back to you.