Him

What if you're the one?
What if this is all a sick joke?
I feel your hands around my throat and smile
as they grip harder I realize it's only the hands of your physical absence.
The pain in my chest is killing me. 
Another ghost of you is in there, trying to escape
but time won't let it.
You're not here and I feel that the moment I spoke your name
a part of me was sent off your way 
that's whats missing.
You're not here and I bury my nails in my chest
trying to make it stop
to somehow numb the hallow space of my heart
just for a moment.
But you're still not here
and I miss you more each day
but I love you more today
and more tomorrow
and the day after that.
It keeps raining and I keep shivering
with every drop of rain touching my flesh
because I know that's you touching me while I'm in your thoughts.
One day I swear
when I am swimming in your ocean
I won't even make the effort to breathe.
You're still not here
but it's nice to know 
you're somewhere out there at all.